


Gentle words

by Valkrist (Anouk_Tyrell)



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, M/M, Past Feelings, Possibly Unrequited Love, Season/Series 05, complicated feelings, secret feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28174494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anouk_Tyrell/pseuds/Valkrist
Summary: Crazy things had happened, but Barney could still remember every single word.There weren’t many things he liked to think of that belonged to that part of his life, butthesedid. The words had kept him alive, they were the only thing worth remembering. Better than the padded cell, better than the darkness, better than the cries he didn’t want to hear anymore, even if they were still stuck in his head, coming out at night when he didn’t need them at all. Sleep was important, he didn’t want to miss out on it because of something likethis.He didn’t need this voices anymore, he had a future now. Tommy had found a job for him and he was back where he belonged.
Relationships: Arthur Shelby/Barney Thompson, Undisclosed Relationship(s)
Kudos: 3





	Gentle words

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my friends!
> 
> Tried another rare pair, discovering what might happen after Linda leaves Arthur. 
> 
> Enjoy!

Crazy things had happened, but Barney could still remember every single word.

There weren’t many things he liked to think of that belonged to that part of his life, but _these_ did. The words had kept him alive, they were the only thing worth remembering. Better than the padded cell, better than the darkness, better than the cries he didn’t want to hear anymore, even if they were still stuck in his head, coming out at night when he didn’t need them at all. Sleep was important, he didn’t want to miss out on it because of something like _this._ He didn’t need this voices anymore, he had a future now. Tommy had found a job for him and he was back where he belonged.

_Good to know that you’re still alive and staying strong._

Even if Tommy signed it all, it had been Arthur’s words. Barney knew how he spoke, how he thought, so it hadn’t been hard to come to that realization. The two men were brothers, had always been, but it didn’t mean that there weren’t any differences. All brawn and no brains, that was how Arthur had looked like sometimes, whereas Tommy had given proof of his intelligence. A brother to dig and a brother to plan, would’ve been a good team even without the others.

It was as if Tommy just signed the stuff because it was necessary, because there was no other way to bring them to Barney. Sometimes Barney had tried to imagine that it were Tommy’s words on the paper, but after a while he had given up on it. No way to create this illusion, no way to live with such a lie. Tommy knew how to encourage people, but this wasn’t his way, and it hadn’t been surprising when Tommy had admitted it in the asylum.

_She is a lovely woman, helps me._

Arthur had told Barney everything in the letters, finding gentle words to not overwhelm him. All this marriages and kids, it had been heartbreaking to realize that he didn’t have such a life too, but at the same time he was so happy for his comrades. They had used every second they had been granted, building their lives and doing things he could only dream of. They had families, jobs and were known, even in politics.

Tommy had always been brave, knowing how to deal with people. An impressing speaker, ready to do things that needed to be done, had saved them all many years ago. Not surprising, actually, all this things that happened, and he could say the same about Arthur. Would’ve been a miracle if he couldn’t cheer his friends up, leaving the anger aside. Did he still draw horses sometimes? Even knowing about it felt like a secret, but Barney truly wanted to see those drawings if there were any, wanted to see his friend smile again.

_We miss you._

How interesting, it was so hard to say all that when he looked at the man next to him. Arthur hadn’t been that soft back then, even if he had had his lovely moments. Many people knew him as a very feisty man, but there was more to him than that. He knew how to be there for the people he cared about, how to talk and listen when it was necessary. But what Barney witnessed now was unusual, a calmness that was so soothing that he didn’t know what it meant.

“Hey, Barney.“ They didn’t need to talk, Arthur sitting next to Barney was enough to calm him down, probably even better than Tommy’s encouraging words. Just a shoulder to lean on, something Tommy surely wouldn’t let him do for such a long time. He had other things to do, though, while the others kept Barney company. It made him feel normal, this conversations. Barney didn’t know much about the world anymore and Arthur knew that he wouldn’t let the others know, so they could tell each other secrets.

Barney hadn’t known that Linda wasn’t a part of Arthur’s life anymore. What a weird thing to happen, especially after Arthur’s words. It had seemed like he was in love with her, not wanting to let her go, a happy relationship with a wonderful baby. Well, apparently he had been wrong this time. It wasn’t like he didn't have skeletons in his closet himself, things he couldn’t talk about with all the details.

A part of him still loved Tommy for all the things he had done, but he couldn’t live with something of that kind, could he? This feelings didn’t help, he had to let go once again, accepting the truth. It would be so much better for all of them if he simply focused on the kindness he got. Wasn’t it beautiful when Arthur told him how proud they were of him, how proud _he_ was of him? That he believed in Barney’s skills and would cover his back whenever it was necessary?

People always mentioned how beautiful Tommy’s eyes were, how intense he could look at others with this blue beauties, but did they know that Arthur could do the same even without such an advantage? Locked eyes with Barney as he told him another thing, words not mattering when there was this hidden pain in the glances. This thing with Linda must’ve broken him in a horrible way, leaving him shattered to pieces, a part of Barney just wanted to hug him, letting him know that there were worse things, that it would be alright.

Would it, though? He didn’t know if his own advices would be right anymore, he didn’t quiet know how the world worked now, did he? Ten years, Tommy had said, ten years, so many things had changed. The streets felt different, Tommy was a politician and Arthur smoked cigars instead of cigarettes now. Even gave it to Barney who didn’t quite know what he was doing as he took a drag. So many years without it, things had already changed indeed.

No cheap cigarettes anymore, just two old friends sitting there, two _real_ friends. Barney felt that it was the closest he could come to honesty. There couldn’t be no secrets at all, but Arthur would tell him all the important things. They could still trust each other the way they had ten years ago, could still work together to do the right thing, even if they weren’t in the trenches anymore.

There was one most important thing that hadn’t changed though. They still deserved to live happy lives, having someone close. Arthur obviously needed a person who would heal him whenever he felt said and he could give it all back. No need for all the other coping mechanisms now, their ideas growing together with them. Barney didn’t know how to help him even if there had to be a way. Couldn’t leave him alone after he had been so nice to him while he had been lonely.

Did Arthur simply need Linda back or would someone new be better? Not that there were many people with no fear around, but the others had found someone too, hadn’t they? Had to mean that there was a lady out there who would appreciate Arthur’s kindness and make him smile, a lady who was beautiful yet brave enough.

“I’m sure that she’ll either come back or there’ll be another woman you deserve even more.“

Barney couldn’t explain why Arthur suddenly looked a little bit sad, but the way he took Barney’s hand into his own told him that he hadn’t done anything wrong. What a good thing to happen, he didn’t want to do wrong things and make those who meant something to him sad.

“Maybe I don’t even need one of them.“

**Author's Note:**

> Tumblr: @valkrist


End file.
